Have you ever gotten at least a little miffed at the amazing chefs on the Food Network? Don't get me wrong, I love watching Food Network, but they are always so dang perfect! Obviously we don't see the deleted footage, but still. Seeing those shows makes me want to be a perfect chef, and I keep having horrible cooking disasters that make me feel like I'll never get there.
Jumping to the beginning, I have always enjoyed "cooking". One of my first toys growing up was a Fisher Price stove top. It came with some fake food, but I wouldn't have that. And even though I was fully aware that I couldn't really heat anything up with the stove, I was determined to make some real food for my family. So, as a five year old, I found an apple in the fridge, a butter knife in the drawer, and cut up the apple. (I came out with no scratches, but BAD IDEA! Don't follow my five-year-old self example). I filled up a plastic pot with water and put the cut up apples into it. I don't remember the exact details, but I'm sure that the apple included the seeds, peel, and stem. So I had water and apples "cooking" on the stovetop. Then came my epiphany: I had just created apple soup! I knew that I was only lacking one ingredient: salt. So I grabbed the salt shaker and sprinkled it like any good chef would.
(side note: don't you think it's weird to recall these things from your early childhood. In my memory my mom was nowhere near all this action, but in reality she couldn't have been too far, right?)
I made my parents and 2 siblings partake of my brilliant concoction. My parents were very polite about it, but my siblings - not so much. "You can't put salt with apples. Gross". I'm sure I ignored them, because I always tended to see myself as an artistic genius back when I was young. An interesting thing to note is that I never actually tried the soup myself. Somehow in my mind I determined that chefs do not need to test their creations before serving it. Unfortunately, this habit is still one I'm trying to overcome.
Out of all my sibs, I was the one who volunteered to help cook when I became of age. My mom was greatly enthused by my desire and got me started on Hamburger Helper. After that, I master Kraft's Mac + Cheese, Rice a Roni, and even delectable deserts like No Bake Oreo cake (from the box). I'm pretty sure Kraft and the white glove representing Hamburger Helper would have been very proud of me. I have to admit that I honestly felt like my cooking skills were great.
Wrong-o, said my husband after a few weeks of marriage. He pointed out to me my fatal flaw: the 3 p's (packaged, processed, and preservatives) were almost every single one of my meals. That is the first time in my life that I realized I only knew how to follow instructions on a box with pre made materials. My husband and I take turns cooking, and his has always been these amazing homemade meals that never ever require a box.
So I started fresh and saw myself as a beginner chef. I got some good cook books and found great resources online. I even watched Iron Chef (the original in Japanese) for some inspiration. I have it in my head that one day I will cook with amazing skill and perfection.
That's where the problem is. I am a disastrous chef. I have made good things, but sometimes things go wrong! Very wrong! Wrong enough to make me cry about it. I had a particular experience with a certain pumpkin cake from a Family Fun magazine. I didn't have a bundt pan, so I substituted with a Betty Crocker Bake and Fill circular pan. Everything was going perfectly until I frosted it. It looked perfect and cool on the outside, but as I started spreading the cream cheese frosting, the cake cracked open and spurted out it's volcanically hot insides. I was left with a time-consumong mushy mess, and I couldn't help but cry over it. I thought I didn't have what it takes to be a chef and I should just give up and buy cakes from the store.
Then my husband told me that nobody's perfect the moment they say "I want to be perfect". They either mess up due to their own shortcomings or something beyond their control plays a role. After digesting that for a while, I've come to realize that my road to creating delicacies is paved with disasters. Many many disasters. But the disasters are actually good, because they help me learn what doesn't work. I have also learned that with recipes there are many things that are "between the lines". While they may be obvious steps to a seasoned chef, I have to go through a few disasters before I understand.
And the adventure begins :)
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